The Gift Of Conviction
Hello Victors! If you’re reading this, that is indeed what you are because here at The Victory Collective, we believe that we are more than conquerors in Christ (Romans 8:37).
In last week’s blog post I mentioned that the day I got caught in my sin (watching pornography) was the best day of my life. I want to elaborate on that today and tell you how conviction is actually a gift. But first I want to tell you about a time when I was very convicted about a choice I made at the young age of 5.
I had always known that 911 was the number you used in emergencies to call the police, but I wanted to see if it actually worked. I bet you already know the ending to this story. So there I was, I went to the wall where our tan landline hanging phone was and picked it up and dialed the number. I heard the beeping, then, “911 what is your emergency?” It had worked and I was stunned. I quickly hung up and ran up to my bedroom.
Now, I had figured that since an actual police officer didn’t pick up the phone, I wasn’t going to go to jail as that was my biggest fear at that moment. I decided I could continue being the happy 5 year old I was and continue on with my day. Which I did, until I saw a police car from my bedroom window drive down the street and turn into our driveway. I had no idea that the call could be tracked and they’d send an officer to the house to make sure everything was okay.
In our house, the stairs my brother and I used were right at the entrance of our front door. I heard the doorbell and then stood at the top of the stairs hiding so Dad couldn’t see me watching. “No officer, I don’t think anyone called. Yes, come in, everything is fine here.” I heard my Mom say the same thing. She then called my grandma who lived with us in our finished basement apartment to see if she had called. My older brother of course had no reason to dial 911. Then the only person left to talk to was me.
When Dad came into my room and told me of our guest downstairs and asked if I knew anything about it, I lied. “No, Dad, I didn’t call them.” But my Dad knew better because his daughter was very good at lying and had done a lot of it. Dad asked me one more time if I was the culprit of the surprise police visit. And out of nowhere this feeling of guilt swept over me and I confessed with tears running down my cheeks. I felt the conviction that what I had done was wrong, and I learned not to joke around about such things again.
I tell you this story because even though conviction might come with tears, guilt, and some hard lessons, I do believe it is a gift from God. Here’s a thought: what if God left you alone in your sin and let you do whatever you wanted? If that were the case, we’d have no need for a Savior. I need conviction because I need saving and I need help from a power greater than myself. When I am convicted of sin, it is not comfortable, and I don’t think it should be. Rather, it is embarrassing and frustrating, but there is a quiet voice that also whispers, “I do this because I love you.”
I have come to believe that God’s conviction is a gift because it clearly shows His love for me as His child. See, God doesn’t use His Spirit to convict us out of pure anger. He convicts me of my sin because He loves me. And my friend, even though it is not comfortable to feel that weight, it’s one of the kindest things God could do for us. He longs to be reunited with us, and maybe Him tapping us on the shoulder with conviction after we’ve done wrong is His invitation for us to go to Him once again and repent and be reunited with our Good Shepherd.
God will always have the heart of a Father and want a relationship with us. In Revelation 3:19-20 Jesus is speaking to the church in Laodicea whom He has identified as lukewarm. Look at His fatherly words:
Those whom I love (He still loved this church) I reprove and discipline (He loved them enough to reprove and discipline them. He could have let them alone), so be zealous and repent (He still asks for repentance and a change to be made). Behold, I stand at the door and knock. (God comes to us and knocks even through conviction) If anyone hears my voice and opens the door (How will you respond to His conviction? Will you answer, and open your door even if it’s uncomfortable?), I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me (God will restore fellowship).
In my recovery from pornography, I have been so thankful for God’s conviction because it allows me to have fellowship with Him again and again and again. That doesn’t mean every time I have bowed my head in shame has been fun and wonderful. It means I’ve been forgiven and restored each time. It means I thank God that He didn’t cast me aside or give me 3 strikes then lock me out of Heaven. His conviction is part of a bigger message because it means He loves me and still wants me regardless of what I’ve done to Him. He loves me enough to correct me.
Your gold nugget for this week is this: Conviction is not a bad thing. It is a gift from a Father that loves you.