Resources for Parents with Young Children
Katie and I (Amanda) attended the middle school girls small group that her mother led. We planned to discuss pornography with them, focusing mainly on inviting God into the struggle and leaning on your Christian community. For both Katie and I, our struggles with pornography began in middle school, and our healing process didn’t begin until we confessed to one another our freshman year of college.
We arrived a little early and were in the kitchen talking to Katie’s mom and the other group leader. Then, one by one, the girls started to arrive. Feelings of fear and doubt immediately swept over me as I tried to push down the thought, “We’ve made a huge mistake.”
They were so young! So innocent! There’s no way these young girls watch pornography. I couldn’t believe how little they were. I wondered if we might hurt them rather than help them by introducing this brand new, R-rated topic.
And then I remembered: I was that age. I found pornography at age 13. Katie was 12. The average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 11. I’ve known multiple people whose addictions to pornography began at the age of 10.
Parents, believe me when I say that if you don’t teach your child about sex and pornography, the world will.
As you’re reading this, you might be looking across the room at your seven, eight, nine-year-old daughter thinking the same thing I did: “She’s too young. She’s too innocent. I shouldn’t introduce this horrific topic with her until she’s much older.”
I can assure you that refusing to talk about sex and pornography with your daughter will not protect her; it will hurt her. She will one day long to find out more about her body, about sex, about the secret videos her friends watch on the school bus (yes, this does happen). She’ll go searching for answers, and find pornography instead.
As daunting and awkward as it might seem to discuss these things with your young child, there are plenty of amazing resources for parents with young children. Listed below are a few of those resources:
Websites
Protect Young Eyes aims to teach parents all about the wonderful and terrifying world of the Internet. What are the latest social media trends? What Apps are safe for my child to use? How do I put parental controls on certain devices? It is the parent’s guide to all-things-digital.
Instagram: @protectyoungeyes
Protect Young Minds has three main goals: “Prepare Your Kids to Protect Themselves from Porn,” “Help Your Child Heal from Porn Exposure or Addiction,” and “Educate Your Community about the Effects of Porn.” It was created by Kristen A. Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures (Review on our Bookshelf!)
Instagram: @protectyoungminds
Birds & Bees makes it as easy as possible to discuss sex with your children by “[giving] you simple, foundational conversations that will shape your child’s sexual health for years to come.”
Instagram: @birds_bees
Very Well Family has a ton of amazing “How To” blogs related to family matters and sexuality. For example, “How to Talk to Kids About Pornography” and “How to Talk to Kids about Sex.” Within their blogs, they also provide links to other helpful articles and books.
Instagram: @verywellfamily
Books
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen A. Jenson and Debbie Fox
Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds by Kristen A. Jenson and Debbie Fox
God Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their Bodies by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
I’m sure there are many more amazing resources out there, but this is a start! Parents, you can do it. You can comfortably and safely discuss sex and pornography with your young children to protect them from the teachings of the world.