Madi’s Testimony: Gift of Grace

I found pornography at 13 and for about 5 years, thought I was the only girl in the world to struggle with it. I felt disgusting. I felt so ashamed of myself and didn’t think God’s love was for me. Of course, God loves all, but there was something wrong and different about me, so He surely couldn’t love me, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

To get to the point where I am now, where I am graceful with myself and understand God’s love for me, was quite a bumpy road. But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and looking back, I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. In one of my religion classes, I heard “suffering is a required course in life, but growth is an elective.”

I believe that growth is an elective because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the divine gift of grace that allows us to move forward.

I still have so much I do not know, and that has become thrilling to me. I’m so excited to continue to hold tightly onto God’s hand as He guides me to where I need to be.

Although I do not know much, here is what I do know:

I know God loves me.

I know He wants me in His care.

I know He is watching over me always, whether or not I choose to put in the effort to see it.

I know He will never define me by my sin.

I know He offers His amazing grace to me as long as I have even the slightest desire for change.

I know He will not ever try to shame me into change.

I know that, along with many angels on the other side, He is cheering for me and loves me through my wins, but more importantly, He loves me through my losses.

And I love Him.